What is Consent?
Consent is the most important aspect of a person’s romantic life. Whether you are on a first date, in a relationship, or have been married for many years, every person has a right to say yes or no to sexual advances at any time.
In a world of online dating and casual meetups, it’s imperative that everyone understands consent. Even in serious and committed relationships, consent must always be given. Although the word ‘consent’ brings to mind vague answers or awkward, mood-killing questions, this comes from a lack of education on the subject.
Consent doesn’t need to be tip-toed around, having conversations with your partner fosters trust with each other.
Yes Means Yes
Consent is sometimes portrayed as a vague affirmation, but it is far more defined than this. Consent is the enthusiastic agreement to engage in a sexual act. Anything other than excitement should be treated as a no. When a person finds themselves in a situation where they are uncomfortable and they voice this, it is a powerful statement indicating the start of a discussion. All actions should be stopped immediately. If the actions don’t stop, and the person proceeds without consent it is therefore sexual violence. There are also situations where, even if the person verbally agrees to a sexual activity, it does not always mean that they can consent. Consent is given by someone with full mental capacity to agree.
People CAN’T consent if they are:
Under the Influence: Someone who is under the influence of alcohol or other drugs is not able to consent since they are not of sound mind. Drugs and alcohol inhibit the brain’s ability to make reasonable decisions; therefore, a person isn’t able to agree to sexual activity. Some perpetrators even use alcohol or drugs to ensure that their victims aren’t able to consent. Many celebrities who have been charged with sexual violence are guilty of this, such as Anton Lazzaro and Bill Cosby.
Unconscious: While someone is asleep or passed out, they are unable to agree to sexual activity. This means that any sexual action taken at this time is sexual violence.
Feeling Pressured: Is also known as coercion. A person’s consent can be invalidated if there is an extreme imbalance of power between two people. Blackmail, manipulation, grooming, and threats are all barriers to consent. The lead singer of Aerosmith, Steven Tyler, is currently facing a lawsuit for child sexual abuse for pressuring an adopted 16-year-old into sexual activities due to threats of abandonment.
Underage: Minors cannot legally consent to sexual activity. Children are our responsibility to protect and guide. Their minds are not fully developed enough to give nor even fully comprehend, consent to sexual activities. Abuse creates long-lasting negative effects on the child survivor that impacts them throughout their life.
While understanding when someone can’t consent is imperative, so is opening the dialogue with your partner about enthusiastically consenting.
How to Ensure that All Parties Consent
There are many ways to make sure that actions are consensual:
Ask: This sounds simple, but it’s the most effective way to communicate. Questions such as “Is this okay?” or “Do you like this?” give your partner an opportunity to voice any hesitation. Consent can be withdrawn at any time, so checking in periodically is important.
Respond to Body Language: Pay attention to your partner’s physical reactions to your actions. If they freeze up or withdraw at times, reaffirm that you can stop at any point.
Discuss Beforehand: Some people know certain boundaries that they don’t want to cross. Having a conversation before sexual activity can ensure that you are both more comfortable.
If You Didn’t Consent, Take the First Step with a Free Legal Consultation with Jeff Anderson & Associates
Consent is a necessary aspect of life, and you ALWAYS have a right to withdraw consent. If you ever have your consent ignored or are a victim of another type of sexual violence, we are here to help. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to us, so that we can guide you on your first steps to legal justice.