What Is a Safety Plan?
For victims of domestic violence, one of the most dangerous times is when they are trying to leave the abuser. Data from U.S. crime reports suggest that about 1 in 5 homicide victims are killed by an intimate partner. This is why it can be crucial for them to have a safety plan, even if they don’t think they need one.
A safety plan is a personalized plan that prioritizes the victim’s safety while they are experiencing abuse, preparing to leave an abusive situation, or after leaving. What may be included in a safety plan varies from person to person depending on their unique situation and support system.
Why Are Safety Plans Important?
The goal of a safety plan is to keep the victim safe and reduce the risk of harm, violence, or escalation. Often, when an abuser feels like they are losing control of the victim, this may cause their abusive behaviors to escalate – sometimes resulting in physical violence. It’s important to note that a safety plan is not exclusive only to victims of physical or sexual violence – if a partner is abusing someone emotionally, psychologically, or verbally, a safety plan may still be a good idea.
It only takes one time for an abuser’s behavior to escalate to a level that results in dire consequences – and that, is why a safety plan can be crucial. Planning and preparedness are key.
How to Create a Safety Plan
Safety Plan While Living with an Abusive Partner
Below are some steps a victim can consider when creating a safety plan while living with an abusive spouse. Please keep in mind this list is not comprehensive and the plan that works best will vary from person to person:
- Do not tell the abuser you are planning to leave in advance.
- Avoid informing the abuser’s close friends or family about a plan to leave if there is a chance they may inform the abuser or someone close to the abuser.
- Identify resources. The Domestic Violence Hotline at 800.799.SAFE (7233) is an available resource. Also, research local shelters or non-profits that support victims of domestic violence. Have that information readily available.
- Phone access. Know where the nearest public phone is located in case the abuser takes or hides your phone. If needed, ask a trusted neighbor to borrow theirs.
- Support network. If you have trusted family or friends, let them know you may need help. Your support network may offer to help you relocate from your current residence, provide you with a place to stay, or facilitate access to other resources you may need during your time of need.
- Code word. Create a code word that your family, trusted friends and/or neighbors know that indicates you are in danger and need help.
- Exit plan. Create a plan for where you will stay once you leave. This may include staying with a trusted friend or family member, a domestic violence center, or temporarily staying at a hotel, Airbnb or shelter.
- Children and animals. If you have children or animals, consider how you can keep them safe. This may involve having friends or family step in and take care of them in the interim while you regain independence and stability.
- Law enforcement. We recommend knowing the location of the nearest police station, so you can drive/go there if needed. If you are concerned about your safety, you can also call law enforcement for assistance. We understand that many victims hesitate to take this step, but it’s important to know it is an option. Even if you decide not to file charges, having a police report may come in useful in the future to show a pattern of abusive behavior. It may also help future or past victims as well by validating their experience to police.
- Quick exit bag. Prepare and hide a bag with a change of clothes, medication, etc., in case you need to leave quickly and with little time to prepare.
- Important documents. Set aside important documents, such as birth certificates, Social Security cards, car titles, etc.
- If you have a joint banking account with the abuser, it may be wise to set up an individual account ahead of time. This way, once you leave, you can put money in an account that the abuser does not have access to and cannot track your purchases on.
- Change your passwords on all accounts to ensure the abuser does not have access to any of your accounts. This includes social media accounts, email, and banking or money transfer apps,
Safety Plan While Not Living with an Abusive Partner
- Consider installing cameras, security devices, or an alarm in your home. Exercise diligence to lock your car and all the doors in your house when you are home and away.
- Social media. Be thoughtful about what you post on social media as the abuser could use this information to determine where you go, where you currently live, who you are spending time with, etc.
- Inform Trusted friends & family. When the abuser feels like they’ve lost control, they may try to regain it by reaching out to friends or family – whether that be manipulating them or simply monitoring their social media to gather details on your current whereabouts. Ask friends and family to ignore the abuser if the abuser reaches out them.
- Emotional safety. Once the risk of imminent physical harm is gone, there is likely still a lot of work to be done when it comes to the trauma experienced and feeling safe. Consider talking with a therapist and/or finding a support group for victims of abuse.
What Victims of Violence Need to Know
Below are a few other important notes we encourage all survivors to understand:
- While the majority of domestic violence victims are female, there are many male victims of domestic violence, too. We support male, female, and non-binary victims of abuse.
- Abuse is never okay.
- We know from working with survivors of abuse for decades that some of the most challenging moments are:
- Telling others about the abuse, and 2. Asking for help and support.
- You are not alone, and you deserve respect, validation, compassion, and healing.
- It is not your fault. Abuse is never okay, and it is never the victim’s fault.
Still Have Questions?
Our Questions & Answers page answers frequently asked questions that survivors of abuse often have, but don’t know where to ask. We answer questions about how to report abuse, maintaining anonymity, what legal options are available, and more.