How Do I Support & Help My Church, School, or Organization Be Abuse Free?
Having an organization that is free from sexual abuse and predation takes everyone. Here is how to start action for child safety.
Churches, schools, and youth-serving organizations can be some of the safest places for children, but only when the adults around them stay informed and involved. Knowing how predators operate, what questions to ask, and how to respond to concerns puts you in a stronger position to protect the children in your community.
This page explains how to recognize predatory grooming, learn about an organization’s screening and reporting practices, identify the safeguards every youth-serving organization should have, and support survivors if abuse is disclosed or suspected.
How to Recognize Predatory Grooming
What Is Predatory Grooming & How Do We Catch It?
Predatory grooming is how abusers trick and fool a child into thinking sexual abuse is normal or okay.
Our understanding of predatory grooming, and its horrific effects on victims, has increased dramatically over the past decade. Understanding and identifying the signs of grooming do two things: it helps us identify and prevent potential child sexual abuse and helps survivors heal from the shame that predatory grooming causes.
Here are some signs to watch out for that can provide topics for you to speak with children about.
- The predator may be giving the child gifts:
Teach your children to inform you of gifts they receive from an adult. Gift giving, specifically when a predator uses it secretly, is a common predatory tactic that allows a predator to determine how much they can get away with. When a predator can influence a child by normalizing secrets in their relationship, this is a strong indicator that the child may be in danger. - The predator(s) is overly eager to be physically affectionate with the child:
Predators may be abnormally physically affectionate. They may be overly eager to engage in normally innocuous physical contact with the child in front of the parents to ‘normalize’ physical contact that will take a more extreme form later when the predator can get the child alone. - The predator may claim to have the same interests as your child and to be “best friends”:
The predator may exaggerate their affinities with the child to build rapport. For example, they may claim a deep fascination with the child’s interests, such as green dinosaurs, red popsicles, or an online game someone the predator’s age has likely never heard of. Exaggerated intimacy claims such as being “best friends” should also be noted. This can be a challenge, as we may often call religious figures “father,” “sister,” “brother,” etc. When the child is upset, this may be when predators swoop in to be or appear to be the most caring responder. This builds trust and preferential treatment for the abuser over adults as the child may experience real relief from this attention or be indulged in getting what they want from the “good cop” among adults. - The predator may act overly interested in the child:
Child Predators may pay a disproportionate amount of attention to a child they intend to victimize. This can be expressed as exaggerated interest compared to other children or an enhanced level of controlling behaviors. Pathological interest may be difficult to differentiate from the kind of healthy interest we see in mentorship dynamics between older and younger people. - The predator attempts to find ways to be alone with the child:
Isolation, both physical and psychological, is necessary for predators to commit crimes. Since pathological interest may be difficult to differentiate from the kind of healthy interest we see in mentorship dynamics, transparency and organizational policies help a lot here. Institutions devastated by predators have instituted preventative policies such as that no adult can be alone with a child, and at least two adults must be present. - The predator tries to normalize sexual subject matter:
The predator may do this by gradually introducing sexual topics into the conversation. For example, a predator may start talking to a child about wild parties he used to attend during his time in Hollywood and the fun dances they would do as an oblique way of raising sexual topics. This kind of manipulation can escalate into dirty jokes and showing of pornography. Children can be taught to watch out for this. If you notice your child suddenly showing increased knowledge of sexual subject matter, it may be a sign they are being groomed. - The predator grooms parents to gain more access to the child:
The predator will try and find more opportunities to be in your child’s life, especially and gradually, alone. Offering to come to your aid, especially in contexts where they will be alone with the child may be signs of grooming. - The predator has private communications with the child online, by text or phone:
Predators may try and establish a line of communication directly with their child victims. Using parental controls and educating your child about appropriate communication between adults and children online may help mitigate this approach.
If you notice several of these behaviors together, treat it as a reason to pay closer attention and raise the concern with the organization’s leadership, not as proof of wrongdoing on its own.
How to Evaluate a Church, School, or Youth-Serving Organization
Before entrusting an organization with your child, it is fair and wise to ask how it screens adults, trains staff, and handles reports of abuse. A well-run organization will welcome these questions and be able to answer them clearly.
What Questions Should I Ask My Church, School, Youth-Serving Organization?
All youth-serving organizations should understand and follow the CDC guidelines to prevent child sexual abuse.
Do not be afraid to ask the organization tough questions about abuse prevention, such as:
- What are their screening protocols?
- Are the employees trained to prevent and identify potential abuse?
- Do they employ best practices for child safety?
- What are their reporting procedures?
- Is any adult ever alone one-on-one with a child, or do they require two adults to be present?
If you are a survivor of institutional sexual abuse, contact us for a confidential conversation. You have rights. We believe you.
How Can I Find Out About Screening Procedures at My Church, School, or Youth-Serving Organization?
Check the employee or volunteer handbook to determine if they have well-written and clear guidelines that follow the CDC’s recommendations.
It is also recommended that you speak to the human resources director or the employee in charge of volunteer training and recruitment.
They should be able to provide information on their screening, training, and reporting procedures.
Safeguards Every Youth-Serving Organization Should Have
All youth-serving organizations should understand and follow the CDC guidelines to prevent child sexual abuse. The organization should have appropriate screening, training, and reporting guidelines and specific, well-stated, and robust guidelines for adult-child interaction.
The CDC’s guide, Preventing Child Sexual Abuse Within Youth-Serving Organizations, outlines six key components of prevention: screening and selecting employees and volunteers, guidelines on interactions between individuals, monitoring behavior, ensuring safe environments, responding appropriately to concerns and allegations, and training in child sexual abuse prevention. A strong organization builds its policies around all six.
How to Respond and Support Survivors When Abuse Is Suspected
Someone at My Church, School, Youth-Serving Organization Has Been Accused of Sexual Abuse. What Should I Do to Support Survivors & Child Safety?
Talk openly with leadership and other parents and ask about screening, training, and reporting procedures.
Talk openly with your children about child sexual abuse and empower them to report to a trusted adult. Speak out in support of survivors.
If the person accused is a close friend and you are conflicted, SNAP (Survivors Network of those Abused by Priests) has created a resource to guide people through the process compassionately and in support of survivors.
If a child is in immediate danger, contact local law enforcement. Suspected abuse should be reported to the authorities, such as police or child protective services, rather than investigated internally by the organization.
We have decades of experience, exposing clergy child sexual abuse crimes and crimes in many other institutions, such as in schools (public and private), camps, sports facilities, and the Boy Scouts of America. Contact us for a free confidential conversation.
Trauma-Sensitivity Training for Schools and Staff
What is Trauma Sensitivity Training, and Who Should Have it?
Trauma sensitivity training is available to schools for teachers and staff who work closely with children who have experienced trauma. Trauma-sensitive schools support students in healing from past experiences while building resilience. Trauma-sensitive training is offered nationwide for all adults working or volunteering in schools and dealing directly with students.
For a closer look at what this training involves and who benefits from it, see our page on trauma-informed training.
FAQs About Keeping Your Organization Abuse-Free
What is the first sign of predatory grooming to watch for?
There is no single first sign, but one of the most common early tactics is boundary-testing through secrets, such as giving a child gifts or attention and asking them to keep it private. Teaching children that no adult should ask them to keep secrets from their parents is one of the most protective steps you can take.
Should a youth organization ever let one adult be alone with a child?
Best practice is to avoid one-on-one, unsupervised adult-child situations. Many organizations that have been affected by abuse now require that at least two adults be present, or that interactions happen in observable, interruptible settings. Ask whether your organization has a written two-adult policy.
Who should I report suspected child sexual abuse to?
If a child is in immediate danger, contact local law enforcement. Suspected abuse should be reported to authorities such as police or child protective services rather than investigated internally, which can interfere with a legal investigation and place the child at further risk.
What training should staff and volunteers have?
At a minimum, staff and volunteers should be trained to recognize the signs of grooming and abuse, to understand the organization’s code of conduct for adult-child interaction, and to know exactly how and to whom they must report concerns. The CDC guide outlines training as one of its six core prevention components.
Can I suggest abuse-prevention training if my organization does not have it?
Yes. You can share the CDC’s guidance with leadership, ask about adopting screening, training, and reporting policies, and work with other parents, staff, and community members to encourage adoption. Many organizations welcome the input once they understand the goal is protecting children.